Saturday, September 22, 2012

To find passion and sincerity

Salam to all readers,

It has been 2 months since i last posted anything.. i am currently in my 3rd month of housemanship. Still doing surgical posting and hoping that this posting would end pretty soon. My colleagues have been wonderful.. but there are days where i would have nightmares, not being able to sleep properly at night and jumping out of bed early in the morning to get to work ,  not because i am excited to go to work but because i am nervous and worried.. these usually happens when a certain specialist is oncall.. on those days , going through the morning rounds would feel like entering a battlefield. I have to prepared mentally and physically. Prepared for his abuse..

I heard that when he is in OT he is worst. I have never been into his ot yet and i am grateful , alhamdulillah. There was once the possibility of me becoming endangered, but my kind MOs picked another houseman who is a male and much2 stronger than me to assist the specialist.. I am thankful..

With that kind of working environment, it is very hard to find passion in what I am doing.. and i find it difficult to be sincere too.. i get annoyed easily nowadays.. it's hard to keep yourself to be attentive to patients when the people around you are also feeling the same way as you do, annoyed.. a lot of times i have to remind myself that I need to be sincere in my heart when attending patients..

I wish that i could finish this posting soon.. i still have my midposting assessment, logbook to fill up and finally , end of posting assessment before i could leave this posting.. may Allah ease.. inshaAllah

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