Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
Well, to be honest this post has been long overdue. I've been off-tagged for my first posting since 2 weeks ago.
The day I was allowed to off-tag could be categorised into one of the happiest day of my life. I wished I could jump and hugged my boss for letting me finish my tagging duration in 2 weeks. I was very worried in the few days at the end of my tagging because we were supposedly to be assessed before we will be allowed to off-tag. The specialist in charge required us to know all the patients in the ward. Know all the diagnoses, investigations and progression of each patient. So i spent all my free time reading up all the cases in the ward and listening attentively during each rounds and pass-overs so that I would know and be updated with the progression of each patients.
To tell you the truth, 2 weeks of tagging is totally emotionally and physically draining. For 2 weeks I go to work at 6.30am. The earliest time I punched in was 6.15. I could not force myself to go earlier than that. But I know that there are others that come to work as early as 5.30am. And everyday for 2 weeks I work until 11 pm. There are no weekends off. I only get an off day after I've been working for 3 weeks straight.
Alhamdulillah, everyday each time after my prayers I would recite doa asking Allah to help me go through this, to help me endure and persevere and I believe eventhough the 2 weeks had neen tiring but He has helped me by giving me strength. Prayer times are the only time that I could rest my exhausted mind and emotion and recharge my motivation by connecting with Allah and telling Him about my troubles.
Though He never answer me back like humans would do, but my faith that He is taking care and looking after me makes me feel reassured and gives me the strength that I need.
The first lesson that I learn in order to survive the period of housemanship is that, you need to make sure that your spirituality is in check.
It's important to believe in yourself and your abilities but as humans we make mistakes and sometimes we are not at our best. But when we believe in Allah, believe that all things will only happen if He wills it, then our minds will be at ease because we know that He will take care of us.
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